It has been a comfort to walk down the hall and check our Carepages on the high speed internet access available here at the hospital, and to see that he is being lifted up by so many who already care about him, and us. It is so wonderful to be here at the hospital, and be so near to Drew. Right now the head nurse is again attempting to put in an arterial line, that will enable them to constantly monitor his blood pressure, as well as having easy access to his blood when they need some for tests. They have already tried 3-4 times without much success. His vital signs remain not quite right, but stable. The doctor indicated to us that time is what we need. The longer he can hang on, the more time they will have to get test results back, and to help stabilize his out of control vitals. So pray that his tiny body will have the continued strength to breath, and his heart to beat. In the middle of the helpless dark night of despair that we went through this afternoon, my hearts cry was that God get the glory out of this (my heart would usually add the postscript that I would like God's glory to be manifested by Drew miraculously being suddenly well and stable, of course) and in the middle of all this, that is really what seems to be important. When everything crumbles around me, His love remains strong and steady. It is wonderful.

I, Gracie, just talked with the doctor on call a little bit ago and he seems a little relieved that Drew seems to be stable for now. His heart rythm is still abnormal, but his blood pressure has remained stable through it all and his kidneys are functioning properly, both good signs that he is being able to pump blood where it needs to go. He is in the process of receiving a second blood transfusion and is also considerably calmer than he was earlier. Of course, he is on a lot of drugs that have that effect, but it is nice to see his body at rest instead of striving and obviously in pain. His eyes are remaining open alot, but it's hard to tell if he is really seeing us. So we've been talking, singing, and praying over him, letting him hear our voices and know we are here. What a helpless feeling when I just want to cuddle him up in my arms and let him really feel my presence. So I just pray he will feel God's presence when we aren't able to be.

Wow, what a continual process of handing him over to God! We are getting some early lessons in parenting, knowing if we make it through this crisis, it won't stop here. But it was a comfort to leave the hospital, get some coffee, and look up at the moon and stars, realizing that the God who created all of that is holding our little son. We are so thankful for these doctors and all that they can do, but ultimately his life is in God's hands. Oh, that we may learn to completely trust His ways. They sure are beyond our understanding.

We have a wonderful nurse tonight. She has a personal interest in our little guy because her son is also Andrew Clark. She has been very comforting and reassuring...even coming over to hug and hold me when I was losing it. She really seems to know what she is doing which is a comfort to us.

Thank you again for all the notes and prayers. We feel upheld.

David here. We are ensconced in the hospital for the night, and are glad to be here with tiny Drewbaby. Drew continues to plague us with his irregular heart beats, weak vital signs and such. He has brought us several times today to the point of emotional exhaustion. He is in for a darn good spanking, anyway. His bottom is still really to small to get a good spank in, so I will have to wait. We have given him stern instructions to be a good little NICU patient and stop trying to ruin our lives and eat all the steak. GOSH! I write that, and laugh, but my heart is hurting tonight for our tiny little boy. His life is really hanging in the balance. So many things went wrong today in the space of just a few hours, and the doctors looked so intense as they worked over him, and so concerned as they talked to us about what was going on (they don't really know) that Gracie and I have come to the point of having to once again tell God that our children are His to do with what he will. My heart is numbed with the thought of being without our Drewbaby. I don't feel like I have the emotional strength to hope for the best right now, when the doctors eyes are preparing us for the worst. Gracie and I cling tight to each other and know that whatever may come, Drew will be alright one way or Another, and we will just have to love each other more.

PLEASE PRAY!! Drew is still struggling. The doctors think he has meningitis due to the amount of white blood cells in his spinal fluid. They are treating that and hope he will improve. However, a little bit ago he started having an abmornal heartbeat which concerns the doctors greatly. I guess it is in response to the infection in his system. The doctor told us that this could be a sign that he is headed in the wrong direction and could even possibly be fatal. This is the first time that word has been used for his case and you can imagine our feelings at this time. Please pray for our little guy, for God's miraculous touch on his tiny body. And please pray for emotional and physical strength for us. This is an exhausting time. Thank you.

Thanks for all the prayers and please keep on praying! Drew is still having a crisis and we still don't have many answers. They did a spinal tap today and are awaiting results. While we were standing there talking to one of the doctors about it, Drew's heart rate dropped, then skyrocketed. As things progressed, more and more people came into the room and over an hour later, there are still several by his bed doing some procedure. They have reinserted the tube into his lungs to breathe for him, they have him sedated, and they have administered the strongest antibiotics...it looks too much like an infection. Because of his heart issues, they are trying to take all the stress off of him so they can deal with his other issues. We are still awaiting more results so we can have a better idea of what is really going on. We covet your prayers. It has been a really stressful 24 hours for us, and it's not over yet. It is so nice to know so many are holding Drew up in their prayers!

We would greatly appreciate your prayers for our little Drew. Yesterday he started on a downhill slide and we are still awaiting some answers as to what is going on.

His bilirubin was way down yesterday, so they took him off of the phototherapy. But he had some spitting up episodes that have caused slowed heart rate and breathing (both of which are common for preemies). Yesterday as we held him, we could tell he wasn't feeling well. He was crying a lot (we've never heard him cry so much!) and flailing his arms and legs, obviously uncomfortable. We've gotten used to all the monitors going off, but it was stressful because it was obvious something wasn't right. He was pale, his temperature was higher than normal and his iron level was down.

Last night when we visited, he was pale and listless. A "work-up" had been done on his urine and blood, testing for possible causes of his illness. The white blood cell count came back fine, but the cultures will take a couple of days. They started him on antibiotics to stay ahead of possible infection.

Then around midnight last night, we got a phone call asking for consent to do a blood transfusion. I couldn't believe he was that bad off. We woke up again around 3am and called the hospital to see how he was doing. He had received the blood transfusion, his temp was down and he had pinked up some.

This morning we are at the hospital awaiting the doctors' rounds. We want some more info (if they have it) as to what they think is going on. It is stressful to be at his bedside and see him so uncomfortable. I wish there was something more that I could do. Holding him yesterday, I started realizing what it's like to be a mom. He is not in my hands, he is in God's. And this is just the very first of many more years of mothering moments like these!

We appreciate your prayers so much and will keep you updated as we find out more.

Drew is still coming along well. We had a minor setback yesterday when he was placed back on the bilirubin light, but they think that the return of a higher level is only due to breast milk, which is common for all babies.

Then today when I (Gracie) went in to see him, he was completely breathing on his own! It was pretty short lived...only about 3 hours before they decided to put him back on low levels of oxygen. But it is a start at least. It was pretty exciting to see his whole face without a tube running across it. Hopefully soon he'll be able to be off of it completely!

Dave was able to attend a coffee brewing lab today. He was pretty excited about learning more of the trade he loves. After all, it's what brought us to Chapel Hill a couple of weeks ago. I guess it's only appropriate that he continue his education during our stay. :)

I located a local Creative Memories consultant so I could get some supplies to start on Drew's baby album. I've been struggling with the fact that he still doesn't seem like he's ours yet. It feels like he belongs to the hospital and we just get to visit. So I think starting an album will help in all of the processing I have left to do.

In some ways the past 2 weeks have flown, and in others, it seems like we'll be here forever before we can take our little son home with us. I know it will be over before we know it...and looking forward to that day!

A fun day with Drew. He continues to do well clinically. He looks nice and comfy in his new incubator. He is almost to his target feed rate, and they continue to reduce his oxygen percentage that they are giving him. Today was the first day that Drew was fully alert. I think he has finally gotten the whole eye opening skill down. (He has skills.) He just looked and looked and looked at us. It was pretty much one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Having my son look at me was amazing.

We are very comfortably ensconced at the Ronald McDonald house. Personally, I think that McDonalds is one of the worst restaurants known to mankind (except for their chicken mcnuggets, and an occasional fish sandwich) but the Ronald McDonald house is a huge blessing.

Lots more good news. Drew is back up over his birth weight after losing almost 100 grams. He has started eating pretty regularly, and his current feeding schedule is at 17cc every 3 hours, and they are increasing 2cc's every 12 hours. He graduated to his isolette this morning. The isolette is a big plexiglass box with some holes in it to reach your arms through. Some of you might know it as an incubator. This is a good thing, but it does isolate him more when we are just in to look at him, and play with him. We will still be able to hold him when we want, though. We visited Drewbaby today before the doctors made their rounds. Yesterday, they mentioned that they were going to keep tabs on the heart murmur, but they didn't seem particularly concerned. They explained that it was something they expected in preemies, and they typically took note of it, and if it continued, then they would take a more in depth look at it.

Gracie's Mom flew back this morning. It was wonderful having her here to help, counsel and comfort these past couple of weeks.

We are moving to the Ronald McDonald house this afternoon. We have been looking forward to getting settled down, and especially someplace that is so close to the hospital. See you all tomorrow.

I (Gracie) was able to be in on the doctors' rounds this morning. It is always nice when we time it right to be in on those. They talk through all of Drew's issues and we get to ask them any questions we may have. All in all, they say that Drew is doing well and holding his own.

There is a new issue to report today. One doctor said he heard a heart murmur when he listened to Drew today. They said it is not anything to be concerned about yet. It is common for babies this age, so they will just monitor it for now.

Drew is still gaining weight, though he's still having some residuals. Pray he continues to digest well as they increase his feeds.

Dave is on his way back tonight and is anxious to see his tiny son after two days away. I'm ready to have him back as well.

Tuesday Evening-
Well, the good news continues to come. Drew is tolerating his feeds, so they will be increasing them 2cc's every 12 hours. He is up to 7cc's every 3 hours and will be up to 9 tonight. He is also gaining weight! This was great news and we are rejoicing. He looks great with the bilirubin light off, as well as the little shades he had to wear. Sorry for the lack of photos. I haven't taken any while Dave has been away. But my mom says he looks bigger to her. :) Opening his eyes and smiling at me makes me feel so happy. What an incredible thing to be a mommy!

Tuesday Morning -
Drew had a good day yesterday. He had had more residuals (undigested milk in his tummy) night before last so they tried a different approach to his feedings and it seemed to work. He digested all of his feeding at 5:00 pm and most of it at 8:00 pm. That was good news!

The bilirubin light will come off today and they won't recheck his levels for a couple of days. They said he is getting past the danger zone with that.

Also, his picline isn't cooperating yet. They tried repositioning it and it is still having a little difficulty getting in the correct position for them to use it. To us, it looks a lot more uncomfortable than an IV, but they say it isn't.

Dave and I both got to hold him for a long time, and his Marmee (my mom) got to hold him for the first time. He seems to like being held, but he is so tiny and fragile it is a little nerve-racking at times.

Dave flew back home yesterday with our landlord who is a pilot. He is going to try and get some things in order with work as well as bring back some of our clothes and things we will need over the next few weeks. He will drive back tonight or early tomorrow. Pray for him on the 5.5 hour drive back.

We appreciate you all...keep the notes coming. We love to hear from you!

Sunday Night

Tiny Boy Drew decided to digest most of his milk today. That is a good sign. He has also started to gain weight. He is back up to just over 3 pounds. He has his biliruben mask back on, which isn’t a big deal. He is no where near the danger zone with his jaundice. His Picline doesn’t seem to be working, so they are going to try and reposition it tonight without taking it out, and if that doesn’t work, they will have to take it out all together, and maybe try again later. His oxygen sat. continues to be really good. The doctors are saying that he is doing really good. Thanks for your prayers.

It is Sunday morning, and I just got back from a quick morning trip to the hospital. We are currently staying about 25 minutes away from the hospital (and still keeping our ears open for someplace closer.) Drew was squirmy this morning. I don't know if he was uncomfortable, or just being active. I would think he must be uncomfortable with all the sensors that are attached to him.Drew is still not digesting mothers milk very well. They pump milk through a tube into his stomach, and then at the next scheduled feeding, they suction his stomach to see if there is any milk left in it, and there usually is. I think he has digested a little, but it is an area of slow development for him.

Last night they put a "picline" in, which is a replacement for the regular IV needle. It goes in at his knee, and they slide it up a vein until it gets close to his heart. It apparently is more comfortable than an IV and more stable.We had a little scare yesterday. Gracie was doing kangaroo care (which is skin to skin cuddling) and some condensed moisture came up his vapotherm into his nose. This happens a lot, and usually he just swallows it, and is fine. But this time he started choking. His vital signs went down rapidly, his heart rate dropping from his normal rate of about 140bpm down to 70bpm. The nurse got him back into the NICU baby bed, and suctioned out his throat, and he was fine. Parenting can be an adrenaline rush.

Gracie and I are trying to figure out a daily routine that will let us do everything that we need to in a day, which is not very similar to our normal day just one week ago. Gracie is pumping milk about every 3 hours, so we have to be near a pump, either at our hotel or at the hospital every 3 hours. We are trying to be at the hospital at least a couple of hours in the morning, and a couple of hours in the evening. The doctors make their rounds on Drew sometime between 10-12am, so we like to be there so that we can talk to them. And we have the normal things like groceries, cleaning or room, laundry, eating, working(I am going to be working as much as I can to keep up with the office stuff that I would normally be doing at the office on the construction project)...and all without having our normal things around us. So it is taking us awhile to get settled. Please pray mostly for Drew, and his continued improvement, and a little for us that we would figure out what our life is supposed to be looking like during this phase.

Thanks again for the prayers and notes.

[Warning, if you have not seen the movie "Napoleon Dynamite", you will not be able to translate this update.]

Surprisingly enough, Drew spoke his first couple of words this morning, and they were "Do I have any sweet skills?" We told him he did. He asked what they were and we told him breathing skills, eating skills and pooping skills. Yesssssss. So I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious. I am just getting kind of T.O.ed because he is not digesting his milk. He got a faraway look in his half opened eyes, and said that he thought he could poop right over that mountain. He asked if he could have some tots, but we told him to stick with milk for a while.

I won’t keep you in suspense. Today has been great. The doctors took Drew off the Bilirubin lights, have continued feeds (although he has been slow in working milk through his system), and he has been maintaining a great oxygen saturation in his blood, with no added oxygen going to his nose tubes. Not only that, but you can tell from the pictures that Mommy and Daddy have had a fun day with their tiny boy. He is opening his eyes a lot more, and looking at us, and it is so fun knowing that he recognizes us when we talk to him. I think that one of his favorite things is being held by one of us, and listening to us talk to each other. As we would be talking to each other, we would notice him struggling to open his eyes. Then we would start talking to him, and laughing, touching him, waving at him, and he would start to smile, and it would get bigger and bigger and bigger. That happened about 5 or 6 times, so you can imagine that we are feeling pretty euphoric this evening. Not only is he doing well, he is happy, and I guess we are all just crazy about our family. Gracie has reached the point of exhaustion, and is looking forward to sleep. It has been so helpful having Gracie’s parents here, willing to help us, and a big “Thank You!!” to Ryan, Jenny and Caedmon, who drove up here and helped us get settled into our longer-term living quarters, and loaded us up with helpful stuff at the “Homestead Studio Suites” where we will be staying for a while. Thank you for your prayers, and I want you to know that your posts on this site, and your emails and phone calls are much appreciated.

Dave Here.
It is 6:21 in the morning on Thursday. We got our unrequested daily wakeup call. Can anyone out there who works in a hospital explain why doctors wake people up around 5:30-6 every morning to ask random questions? Anyway. I would have felt rude saying "I wish you would shut up and get out of my life!!"-"Napoleon Dynamite"

Well, things continue to go well, preemie style. Two steps forward and one step back. The team of doctors making their round each day assess how he is responding to what they are doing for him, and decide whether to tentatively step forward or backward with the treatment. Of course, it is always encouraging when they step forward, like taking him off of the ventilator, or starting to feed him with breast milk, but even when they do decide to step back, they are always reassuring, explaining that they are trying to keep pace with Drew's development, and he is telling them that he is not quite ready for what they are doing.

As we are trying to decide what to do for the future, there are more variables than we had anticipated. I am talking here about relocating him. Our intial plan was relocating to Asheville. But then we found out that they wouldn't be able to take a transport baby before 34-36 weeks. And by that time, he may or may not be ready to just come home with us...so Asheville didn't seem like the best plan. Then we thought that we might go to Huntsville, but we are starting to hear that the insurance company is reticent to send him across state lines, without medical reason, especially when it is still so far from our home. And we had thought about Atlanta, because it is closer to home, but we would still be in a city relatively far away, and additionally, Gracie is going to have to stay very close to the hospital all the time, so it isn't like she can just go home every day from Atlanta, and I am planning on staying with her, except for short, tactical trips to manage the construction project that I am building. Also, we absolutely love the care that this hospital is providing to Drew and Gracie. We do believe that God providentially brought us to Chapel Hill, 10 minutes from this facility for the birth, and possibly for the extended care as well. The thought of transporting to an unknown hospital in Atlanta, where the care may not be as good, the doctors not be as helpful, friendly and flexible is not very appealing. So we started considering last night simply staying put. We are going to look into renting an apartment for a month at a time, close to the hospital. There is also a Ronald McDonald house available only minutes away. Please be praying for us as we try to make the best decision for Drew.

Drew continues to do well. He had to go back on a machine to help him breathe last night (called a c-pap...that's the thing he was wearing with the cap in the first picture we posted), but they weaned him back down to just the oxygen tube today. He is on pretty low levels of oxygen, so that is good. They started feeding him yesterday, then had to stop last night because he wasn't digesting it very quickly. But his digestive system started moving today and they resumed his feedings. His jaundice is improving as well.

Probably the biggest news is that mommy got to hold him for the very first time today! And twice at that! I was able to hold him "kangaroo" style, as they call it, skin to skin, for about 30-45 minutes this afternoon. Then tonight, they wrapped him in a blanket and I held him for about an hour. He even opened his eyes and looked at me!! So we've had some good bonding time today. :)

We are encouraged that he is doing so well. Thank you all for your prayers. I should be discharged tomorrow and it will still be a few days before we find out Drew's transport status. We are seriously thinking about staying here because of the excellent care he is receiving. We will keep you updated.

Gracie and I just got back from one of our many visits to visit our small family member in the Neonatal ICU. Drew, of course, is a little compact bundle, breathing away. The first thing that I usually do is look at him, and touch his feet and head. Then I look at the big computer moniter that shows his breathing rate, heart rate, blood saturation and blood pressure. It usually is where it should be. If it is not, I ask the nurse to explain what is going on. This morning, I walked in, and Drew had a black mask on similar to Zorro, without any eye holes, and he was under a bright light. It was there to help him overcome some jaundice.

This morning, we had a meeting with the team of doctors and other medical personnel that are involved with Drew as they were making their rounds. And everything that they said was wonderful. They are taking out his breathing tube, because he has responded well to it. They are taking him off antibiotics. They are going to start feeding him, and they are not going to go to the next level of treatment to deal with the jaundice, because he is responding well to the light treatment they are giving him.

Andrew David

January 30, 2005

5:06 a.m.

3 pounds, 4 ounces

16 inches long

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Meet the newest member of our family! Our little Drew was born unexpectedly at 29 weeks gestation while we were spending the weekend close to Raleigh, NC. He was born via c-section and was above average on his height and weight for his age. He is a strong little guy and is doing well. Check back for updates!